Saying Yes

When faced with the decision to write or not to write, I normally drift towards not writing. This is usually because I convince myself that my thoughts, feelings, and desires will be better kept in secret and hidden from all who might stumble upon them. However, I desire for this perspective to be renewed in my heart and mind. I want to be bold because I am bold through Christ. I want to ignore and say no to the little whisper in my head feeding all the lies that I believe day in and day out. As followers of Jesus Christ, we literally have the power to say yes and to say no to the thoughts rolling in and around within. We are able to be bold because of Jesus! We are free and forgiven from the chains once shackling our hearts and minds. It is through this freedom that I am simply saying yes to writing and sharing different thoughts that are on my heart.

I have been learning a lot about what it looks like to proclaim this freedom in the midst of embracing new seasons and working often. I have had many moments of questioning why I am where I am because the work hours are hard and I am far out of my comfort zone. I have doubted God and wondered if I really should be at JH for the summer. However, at the end of the day I am choosing to walk forward in faith knowing that the Lord has a greater plan than what my mind can comprehend. Through this reality, I have come to realize how all my fears, doubts, and insecurities were holding me back from living in freedom and in the abundant life. This realization came to me a few days ago when I literally came to the end of myself. I was working in the kitchen and there was so much that had to be done that I was unable to even take a minute to eat or sit or just BE. I was feeling extremely inadequate. I physically wanted to run away and not turn back. However, I knew deep down I could not give in or give up because I made a commitment to first my Father, and second to these incredible people. Through the grace and strength of Jesus, I kept going and praying the whole way. Looking back on this day, I see how beneficial it was for me to experience this because it took me to a new place of wholehearted reliance on the Father to just take one more step and keep going. 2 Corinthians 12:9 says, "But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."

When I realized that I, Morgan, could not do my job with excellence, love people well, or be fully present unless I am completely and utterly surrendering myself to Jesus day in and day out. My perspective shifted from being self-focused to Kingdom focused. I am making it my aim each day to take captive the truth and value of being available to say yes to what our Father has.