There is Still a Choice + My New Dinner Go To

Do you ever feel like you have moments where your emotions take over and completely bypass all logic? Me too.

Recently I have been navigating and praying through why this happens to me more frequently than I would prefer. I haven’t had much space to process through these moments, but a break through that I’ve experienced in relation to these moments often links back to my family of origin.

Family patterns from the past are often times played out in my present relationships without me even being aware. These different patterns are almost always demonstrated in my relationship with Ben. Although this can create a lot of challenges, it also creates a platform to experience greater connection and breakthrough with our Father as well as each other. I have seen how freeing it can be to walk back through emotionally unhealthy moments and recognize the real root that reveals why a specific emotion was exposed.

I often have the tendency to think the things I feel inwardly are bad and unnecessary, but the reality is that God created emotions to teach us more about His nature and character. He is a God of emotion! I wholeheartedly believe that our emotions were created to understand a greater depth of the Father’s heart. However, because of our sinful nature, sometimes these emotions can be misused and appear as a negative thing because they are demonstrated in an unhealthy way.

I felt that this picture would be most appropriate to describe life right
now because its mid April and still cold enough for me to wear this parka.

I want to learn how to embrace emotion in a healthy way so I can grow in my own thoughts and feelings as well as understand a greater depth of the Father’s heart. The question I keep coming back to is how does this happen? The more I feel and fight to understand, I see that it’s about releasing control and inviting the Holy Spirit into these raw moments. In my life I have seen greater depth in my relationship with Jesus through sitting in what I feel and praying through it rather than ignoring and running away from emotions. This is difficult for me and honestly the exact opposite of what our culture encourages us to do.

Just the other day, Ben and I were having a conversation about our weeks, schedules, how much there was to get done and figure out, etc. As I was attempting to communicate, a huge wave of irritation blindsided me which resulted in me falling into an emotional spiral. After experiencing all of this and responding negatively in the moment, I took some time to process and pray through the irritation I felt. During this time, I recognized that because I was no longer in control of our schedule and all that needed to get done, I went to the habitual response of irritation. Although irritation was often times demonstrated to me in the past during challenging moments, I kept pressing into why this happened and realized as I went even deeper that it was my own choice to be irritated. Yes, I learned that response but as an adult I still chose this unhealthy response because of convenience. I’ve experienced many moments of giving weight to the schemes of the enemy and having pity parties for myself because I didn’t know what else to do.

Through the slow process of praying, releasing control, and pressing into the real reason why these emotions are demonstrated, I’m recognizing the great power and freedom given to me because I am a daughter of the King.

My goal in sharing all of this is to bring greater awareness to the moments in our lives where we might blame habits or responses on our circumstances or even other people, but the reality is, there is still a choice.  Every challenging moment that I face it is a battle to release control and embrace the moment. I have controlled and wrestled with the reality of situations for so long that it is almost instantaneous that I start to run from it all. It hurts to work through the generational patterns from our families of origin that have engrained themselves in us since birth. Yet there is so much hope to learn how to create connection and respond in a healthy way to emotion instead of ignoring how we feel.

Although my everyday reality isn’t always rooted in hope or beholding the fact that I am a new creation in Jesus, I am taking one baby step closer to experiencing a new reality of greater connection and healthy emotions.

I encourage you to ask the Holy Spirit to illuminate what areas need growth in your own life and where you can walk in greater awareness of reality that we are new creations in Jesus.

CHICKEN FAJITA BOWL

This little gem of a recipe was inspired by a blog that i follow called Paleo Gluten-Free Eats. I highly recommend checking it out if you've never heard of it. 
This recipe makes enough for 2.

Ingredients:
-1 head of romaine lettuce or Kale (chopped)
-2 medium sized sweet potatoes (cut into strips)
-2 organic free-range chicken breasts
-1 bell pepper (cut into strips)
-1/2 avocado
-1/2 cup Cilantro
-1/2 lemon
-1/4 cup rosemary (chopped)
-olive oil
-3 tbsp. water
-2 cloves garlic
-salt & pepper
-1/2 tsp. red pepper flakes

Chicken Marinade Directions:
-place chicken breasts in a pyrex dish or large baggie
-combine the lemon, rosemary, 2 tbsp olive oil, 1 clove of garlic, and 2 tbsp of salt together and then pour on the chicken so that each breast is lightly covered...i usually let my chicken marinade for at least an hour but the longer the better.

Prepping and Cooking the Sweet Potato Fries:
-preheat the oven to 400
-cut the sweet potatoes to about a 1/4" thickness
-place on baking sheet
-drizzle with olive oil, salt, and pepper
-cook fries on 400 for 40-45 mins (looking for a slight crispiness) 

Cooking the Chicken:
-once the chicken has marinaded begin to heat up a skillet, once your skillet has reached a medium temperature 
-sear the chicken breasts on each side (usually 6-8 minutes on each side) you want the chicken to have some browning on each side
-once the sweet potato fries are almost done I put the chicken breasts in the oven for about 12-15 minutes depending on the thickness of the chicken

Making the Dressing:
-combine the avocado, cilantro, water, 2 tbsp olive oil, 1 garlic clove, red pepper, and 1/2 tsp of salt into a food processor and process until smooth

Cooking the Pepper:
-cut the bell pepper into strips and cook in a skillet with 1 tbsp olive oil and a sprinkle of salt and pepper

To Assemble:
-place the green of your choice at the bottom of the bowl, pile on some chicken, peppers, sweet potato fries, and a dollop of dressing
-mix it all together and enjoy!