Encouraged

It has been a little while since I have taken the time to write. I am noticing the pockets of time that I have tend to be few and far between. But at the same time, I so enjoy this outlet and my hope is that these words would encourage your soul.

Recently I have been feeling like my life has been a minor whirlwind. I find myself bouncing around from one thing to the next, going here and there, and at the end of the day spending too much time wishing I had done this or that differently. Although it can be fruitful to reflect and evaluate each day I am discovering that my evaluation was taking away from the beauty of being present. I began to notice this good tool of evaluation actually robbing me from living in reality. With that in mind, I have been pressing into what it looks like to embrace the fragrance and freedom of each day. 

My favorite sisters. Its days like these that I treasure.

For me this looks a lot like pausing in between thing to thing to fully glean the gift of living another day. I can easily be that person that feels like I need to be doing something to be ‘productive’ while in reality, it’s really just a distraction and a comfortable place that I go to when I feel overwhelmed. I like to feel like I am a part of something valuable and real. I am learning that I fill that deep place with distractions like ‘always being productive.’ Our society seems to praise this so-called honored busy-ness. At the end of the day, the true thing that my soul is longing for is to be in the presence of Jesus. To sit at His feet and be still, present, and in tune with His perfect nature. I share this not because I have it figured out but because I am feeling that draw to Him and I so desperately need reminders. 

Just today I woke up so thankful for the gift of another day and by the time I got out of my bed and had walked into the kitchen, that thought had completely dissipated and I was immediately unloading the dishwasher. I didn’t consciously choose that, but it was a habitual response to this ongoing reality that I have been living in which is: ‘I need to be doing something to be loved’. Since this ‘doing’ mentality is so deeply rooted in my every thought and action, it can be extremely difficult to pause, rest, and live in the moment. Although there is nothing wrong with doing things and being productive, I am learning that it is a crutch for me to run from being present and dealing with what’s really going on inside my heart and mind.

This is one of my favorite places in NC, Hanging Rock.

Ben and I have a variation of the same conversation about every week where we talk about what it looks like to break the mold and the status quo of living the American dream. We each see great value in living life to the fullest and being bold but yet there is this constant pull for our attention to become comfortable and follow in the footsteps of doing so much that being present in the moment is intercepted. Through these conversations and reality checks that we have with each other, we see how easy it is to be busy and not have time to embrace each day. However, in the midst of the indecision, wish-washy tendencies, and scattered habits I have a sliver of awareness for what brings true satisfaction and meaning into my life. Because of this awareness I have a choice to neglect or respond. I know Jesus desires my response daily. I know He wants to expand my capacity for loving the way He loves. I know that if I choose to pause instead of doing there will be more joy and satisfaction in my heart because of Him. Yet even with having this awareness and knowing these things, that is not the reality that I choose to live in each day. It’s a journey and this is my process. Being present and making the most of each moment is a little glimpse of what I want to live for. 

Each time I write, my desire is to spur you on towards growth and to share more of the innerworkings and struggles in my own life to be a source of encouragement and to broadcast the reality that none of us are alone. We are working and growing in our own gardens to become better versions of ourselves. Through the grace and blood of Jesus, this will happen. 

Here are a couple questions to spur you on and help you evaluate what you are feeling and thinking about the way you live your life. 

What needs to shift in your day-to-day life in order to grow and challenge that unhealthy or unnecessary habits that take up time?  

Are you really living life to the fullest? If so what does this look like practically? If not, what are ways and opportunities for growth to happen? 

Fun recipes to come :)